I said I will never think of you.
I lie down and count the squares
That makes up the ceiling
That I may avoid counting how perfect
Like squares how days were.
I let my eyes wander
In search of the beauty around me
That my mind’s eye may not see
Nor my heart ache
For the beautiful moments we had.
I say I will forget you
And surely I will.
The way a once beautiful but withered flower is forgotten
So will I do you.
If your prints are left on the sands of my heart
I will erase them
So I don’t look back and long for their touch
Yes! I desire to do these things.
As sticky as a bad yesterday is on the memory
So have you remained in my head
And painfully so too,
Affecting the good of my today
Limiting the best of my tomorrow
Shutting me out from forming new and pleasant memories.
I pray daily that my heart yearns not for that which isn’t hers.
But you, you have foiled it
Making it one of the many unanswered petitions.
If ever my heart beats for you again,
Or my ear aches to hear your thundering laughter,
Or my eyes strain to behold the lines of your face
Or the nerve cells on my skin long to feel you;
I will remind myself
That the bitter leaf if not washed
Leaves an unpleasant taste in the tongue
Of which its greenish bitter water
Is medicine to an ailing body.
You are that bitter leaf
The memories of you in me is sickening
So with so much effort will be constantly washed off
That the bitter taste of you be let off
And my heart is made whole again.
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