When love afflicted me and wrapped its fingers around my head and my heart, I held on to Lizzy, the object of my love, like a frightened baby would to its mother.
She was all I had. I loved her and I knew she did me too. Then suddenly, things began to go awry, I felt it in my guts that something was amiss. It began from her being picky, to being nasty and unnecessarily ‘unpleasable’ and then down to nagging. I didn’t care what she did; I fought for her, for her love. She did not understand what she meant to me; she was air to me.
Yet at the dawn of each day, I woke up to the sullen realization of how much she wanted to get out of my love’s nest. I just wouldn’t let her. I told her if she tries leaving me alone, then I won’t stand living alone. As is characteristic of her in these times, she didn’t understand.
Anytime I tried to tighten my grip on her heart, it beats fearfully and gets even more loosened.
Sadly, she opens up one fateful day; she said like a bird she has been nested for too long, she needed to savour the sweet taste of the air of freedom; she needed to flap her wings.
I knew it would happen soon, I just never expected it at that time. Left with no choice, I let her go. I let her fly away albeit painfully as my throat was choked with sobs that as a man I would never let come out in rows of tears for her to behold, at least not in a situation as this.
She flies away delighted. I discover later that she has a nest to which she was willing to get trapped in and my heart ached. My heart ached for her real bad and blamed me for letting her go. I could not argue otherwise, but then I just know that sometimes to lose someone especially one who is loved and wants to be lost, is to really let that person loose and lose. When you do, somehow, anyhow, with time you will be just fine. I hope my heart understands that.